A Poem About Standing in My Back Yard

just the other day with the sun shining on the tulips
the rose bush starting to bud
a stray cat sleeping on the fence

When I looked up at the blue sky
I lifted my arms to God
I said "Thank You"
because I have everything

this is all I want
three healthy children
a husband who has loved me for 15 years
people who call me friend
and say they are lucky to know me
even though I am luckier to know them

I can imagine myself in any other land
without ever really needing to leave
the place I am in.

Dreaming of the Mountain High

Have you ever had one of those moments when you felt you could do anything that you put your mind to?

I'm not having one of those moments right now.

I just read this passage in a devotional book by Oswald Chambers; "We must bring our commonplace life up to the standard revealed in the high hour. Never allow a feeling which was stirred in you in the high hour to evaporate. don't put your mental feet on the mantelpiece and say- 'What a marvelous state of mind to be in!' Act...

I don't usually take advice from people named Oswald...

but I think he has a point.

I'm dreaming of a Mountain High. Anybody want to go hiking?

Seeds

Last night I dreamed that my mom was going to teach me how to sow seeds. I was very excited to have this lesson passed down to me. When I arrived at her garden, my mother was surrounded by potted perrennials instead of seeds. She was frantically hurrying to get them all planted. I tried to tell her how badly I needed to learn how to plant the seeds myself. She brushed me aside and said "Dig holes Jennifer. We've got to get these planted right now!"

Considering that my mother is a masterful gardener, and that she has also been extremely busy recently, I could assume that this dream is about her. But I know myself. I am far too self-obsessed to dream about anybody else for their own sake (even my mom!). I believe this dream is about me. I believe it is about my need to plant seeds in my life right now. I am at a point in my life when (if I had sown the seeds earlier...) I should be starting to see the harvest.

It would be a lot easier to plant perennials in my life right now. I would see the results a lot sooner... but then wouldn't I always have that nagging feeling that the seeds might have made a better plant? or that I didn't deserve the plant? or that the plant was beautiful but I'd never be able to grow another one?

All this angst! Come on, say it... It was only a dream!

I Invited a Few Friends For Lunch...

...to celebrate the baptism of James, Matthew, Jonathan and Eli. We had more people over for lunch on Sunday than we had at our wedding; over 50 people! This is amazing considering the fact that some of our closest friends are living in faraway cities and could not come. (J, G, S, B, N, and I... you know who you are!). Each person that came over on Sunday holds a very special place in our lives. We did not invite a single person who was just an acquaintance. There are also a few people that we wanted to invite (F, T, H, S and W... to name a few!) and could not because we already had so many people coming over. I am sitting here, days later, feeling awestruck by the amazing way Sunday's celebration unfolded. I do not for one minute want to forget how blessed we are. Our friends and family are the most awesome people. I have so much I want to say about baptism and church membership and how much more monumental these events are than I could ever have imagined. I am trying to write about the flood of feelings that overcame me on Sunday, but it is so hard to verbalize. I told A. the other day that explaining my feelings is like the song that you can sing in perfect tune and harmony in your head but when you try to sing outloud comes out all wrong.

I opened my bible at the end of the day to this verse from Deuteronomy 6:5-7 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you walk along the road." This verse was such an encouragement to me.

A Quiet Walk around the lake sometimes means taking a wrong turn

I went on a walk this morning pushing Eli in the stroller at Elk/Beaver Lake. I decide not to go all the way around the lake, and instead take a turn onto a trail I haven't been on before. I walk past a picnic bench that is knee deep in the water and I wish Eli was big enough for gumboots and splashing. I know M and J would have pretended that bench was a boat and been entertained for minutes, possibly even hours. I continue walking until I see another trail that appears to head back in the direction of Elk Lake. I walk a fair ways as the trail narrows. There are no footsteps, only horse hooves in the mud. The sun is glistening through the trees. This section of trail is quiet compared to the hustle bustle of the common trail around the lake. As it continues to narrow and get muddier I realize that the trek back to Elk lake is only going to get more difficult. I end up breaking through the bush (with the stroller) into the large field of grass (and muddy potholes) and making my way (with the stroller I remind you) across this muddy potholed field for the half hour it takes me to get back to the common trail. It was an adventurous morning!

(As I pushed the stroller off the muddy field and back onto the common trail I felt my arm muscles tighten and I thought.... this is way more fun than working out at the gym!)