My new years resolution for 2005: To overcome my fears.
I am afraid of heights. If I had to take a ferry ride when Matthew and Jonathan were small I would not sit by a window and let them lean on it. I was afraid that they would inadvertantly and tragically trigger a faulty seam that would come loose as they were leaning on it and they would fall to a cold icy death in the ocean below.
A few years ago I was travelling on the sky train across Vancouver and a mother was casually standing nearby while her toddler pushed and leaned on the closed sliding glass door of the train. If a mechanical error caused that door to open above the city the child would have shot down into the city in a split second. I sat in my seat hyperventilating, relieved when the train pulled to a stop and I was once again on solid ground.
In March I am packing Eli across the country to visit my friend Irene in Ontario. I am going to travel by ferry to Vancouver, where I will take a city bus to the airport, where I will take a five hour flight on a new airline that prides itself in providing only the very basic neccessities of travel. There will be no free peanuts. I'm ok with that. But when James jokes that the airline saves money by hiring pilots-in-training I do not laugh. I am afraid of heights and I am going to be flying above the clouds with a three month old baby. But I am a free-spirited, independant woman with a craving for adventure. I can do this.
I won't be asking for a window seat!
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