My Haphazard Garden

This year I am really pleased with my garden. I am not an avid gardener but I do enjoy being outside digging in the dirt. This year my garden has offered me a refuge. I pull in my driveway filled with anxiety and I see a new blossom. My anxiety lifts. In the morning I sit in my backyard with my morning coffee and take in the lush greens, purples, yellows and blues that surround me. This morning quiet rejuvenates me and prepares me for the day ahead. It is a haphazard garden, somewhat like my life, and I love it.

Happy Mothers Day

I arrived home on Saturday afternoon to find this incredible bouquet of flowers on my doorstep. A loving note was tucked inside from my husband who phoned long-distance to flowers on top, our favourite flower store downtown Victoria. He is still in language training just outside Montreal and won't be finished for another few months. I love this spontaneous romantic side of my husband that surprises me with his extravagance. I love how much he appreciates my role as a mother. Sometimes it feels like a pretty big role to fill. Other times (most times) it feels like the most incredible opportunity. I cherish my three children and on mothers day this year they made me feel like they also cherish me. I think they learned that from their dad.

Our lives are inspired by the dreams we have from the earliest stages of our youth. When you combine passion and hard work, then success is always possible. While no road is ever straight, dedication and persistence will always lead you to your dreams
Starbucks The Way I See It #63

This was the message on my coffee cup this morning. I was struck by the words "while no road is ever straight..." I have been longing for the straight road, for clear direction without awkward turns, but this road I long for is not appearing. Instead I am faced with the road to Tofino, complete with big trucks blaring past me and the occassional bear sighting ... Of course I am being metaphorical. If you have ever travelled the road to Tofino you will know exactly what I mean. It's a scary road to drive. But the destination! Wow! It is incredible. At the end of this windy narrow old-logging-road-turned-highway you arrive at paradise: the most spectacular expanse of ocean on Vancouver Island.

There are lots of roads that lead all over the place. Some drives are scenic. Some are not. Some are harrowing. Some are tedious. Some lead to the beach while others lead to the grocery store. Each has its place along the route that leads to your destination.

Finding Nemo

Right now my 13, 11 and 1 year old sons are sitting on the couch together watching Finding Nemo while my husband does laundry and while I work on the last of three essays for a course that finsishes in just two more weeks. I woke up this morning to a hot mug of fresh organic coffee and the newspaper laid out on the coffeetable right in front of where I love to curl up on the couch. Later, while my 11 year old son practiced baseball with his team and my 13 year old son curled up into another hour of sleep my husband and I walked along silent trails through the forest while our 1 year old son tried to eat random sticks, blades of grass and daffodils that I handed him as we walked, in hopes that he would be entertained in his stroller.
Life couldn't be more perfect than this moment.

Re-Weaving

This evening as I was writing in my journal and half listening to the CBC I had an awesome moment of synchronicity. I wrote "I really need to be getting on my way out of this rut that I am in, toward whatever it is that God created me for." (refering to my indecision over where I should be going with my school/career goals)
...and the speaker on the radio show (David Kearney) responded with "We are a patchwork of stories; stories that have been chosen for us and stories we reweave for ourselves. Through communicating our story we are able to unweave and unwind it and say I am not determined by this chosen pattern. I can reweave my life."

No Place I'd Rather Be

My friend Irene (the one in the middle) just sent me this picture that was taken a year ago on Galiano Island. (Look how small baby Eli is in my arms!) Four of us had rented this cute little cottage across the street from the beach. We feasted. We laughed. We cried. We laughed more. In fact we probably didn't cry at all, but it seems like the kind of thing we would have done. Irene is coming to BC in a few weeks and I wish I could surprise her with a weekend at this same cottage. I wish I could recreate this moment of intimate friendship. But I know there will be other photographs taken, in different settings, that capture the same intimacy and joy that is so vivid in this picture.

Preparing to Climb

I just received this picture, by email, of my son preparing to do some climbing at a local climbing gym with his youth group. What a wonderful shot! Thankyou to the leader who captured this image that is 100% Jonathan; serious, thoughtful, contemplative...

You may look at this picture and see a boy with smudges on his shirt and hair in his eyes. I look at this picture and I see a young boy preparing to climb. I see a youth who is oblivious to the rest of the world. I see a young man carefully following the rules as he ensures that the ropes will hold him firmly in place as he climbs to great heights. I see my son growing from a boy into a young man, and I know this is something he will do well.

so much depends on an old wheelbarrow

I have often wondered how much really ...depends/ upon/ a red wheel/ barrow/ glazed with rain/ water/ beside the white/ chickens and then I saw this wheelbarrow lying abandoned as I was walking throught the forest after a rain. As I shot this picture I created my own version of the famous poem by William Carlos Williams

so much depends
upon a rusty old wheelbarrow
that used to carry
wood
across the farmyard
and now lies waiting for the children
who will
find
and transform it
into a chariot for imagined adventures

Moral: what is old and discarded to one person is a potential treasure to another. What one person does not see anymore another may find and cherish.

Decorating for Christmas

I have begun decorating my home for Christmas... The tree angel above, a remnant from my childhood, is my very favourite ornament. I absconded with it when my mother abandoned our childhood Christmas ornaments for the designer ornaments that make her tree look like it sprung from the pages of an interior design magazine. In fact I thought she gave this ornament to me but she does not recall having done so. I may have to one day give it back as apparently it is also a favourite ornament from her own childhood.

The wall hanging above was a Christmas gift many years ago that usually contains glass vases that I fill with fresh flowers or floating candles. I found the white cones on sale last year and added the incredible greenery a few days ago. Do you notice the little red berries? I have never seen anything like them. It is quite a remarkable bush that lines the sidewalk into my backyard. I still plan to string popcorn and cranberries for the tree which is an arduous job but, like the tree angel, brings back happy memories of childhood Christmases. My oldest son has requested that we also string the tree with gold ribbon that he saw on a tree at a local department store. I have yet to put up lights outdoors but am enjoying the incredible light displays that my neighbours have put together. I am beginning to feel the excitement of the Christmas season, especially as my husband arrives home in two days after way too many months of being apart.